Let me type this slowly for you.
I said: I progressed up the ladder and gained a position in the congo.
This is a PI$$ take - no such thing as progression, ladder or position.
Then I said: The closer I got to the centre of what was going on the more I realised it was wrong
The centre of the congo - not the org. After 30 years it's easier than you think to get stuck in and start playing with peoples lives - mikes would have been nice but public talks, accounts conducting a book study for 5 years and herding really does allow you to have some control on people especially when you slip in apostate ideas from time to time. While it's a fake authority, it is an authority as people follow you like you'd never believe.
The point I wanted you to understand is that while loads got disfellowshipped none came back apart from two of us and both of us didn't last. Worse still my mate went off the rails so bad he killed himself on booze and drugs. I'm sure he was pleased I conducted his apostate funeral. So yes you were right, the cobain generation as I called it (he ended it in my view) left a mark on the org.
It's going to happen again. I had 3 teenagers in my bookstudy on tranquilizers. This time round it will be worse and it wont be disfellowshipping that leaves a mark on the org it will be teens taking their lives. It's already becomming a craze in the UK and I suspect it will soon reach the org.
It's good to know you think I suck really bad. Gave me a smile coming from someone who knows little about S8. I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't get me head far enough up my arse.